I’d like to apologise to Meagan.
I lost my temper, really badly, recently and we argued.
Looking back on it now, I realise the source of this outburst was anxiety, about an upcoming event, amplified by tiredness.
This is why I’m going to start three morning affirmations and this is going to be one of them:
Treat life as an experiment.
If I can burn this into my subconscious mind, then I believe I will have the ability to observe and analyse my emotions, rather react to them, which stresses me out.
I know this to be true.
Take this example.
When a scientist goes into the laboratory to carry out an experiment, they are not offended or upset by unexpected outcomes.
It’s no reflection on their ability as a scientist.
They’re just results, they’re not right or wrong, good or bad, they’re just results.
Objectively analysing these results allows them to adjust their experiment accordingly, in order to get closer to their desired output.
What would happen if you treated life like this?
For example, let’s take two different people’s reaction, to the same scenario.
Gary and Charlotte, go for a job interview.
Gary is desperate for the job and has no idea what he’ll do, if he doesn’t get it.
Charlotte, treats the interview as an experiment, to see if her method will be successful or not.
Neither of them get the job.
Gary goes home, feeling personally rejected, with low self esteem blaming himself (and or the interviewers) for the failure. He’ll almost certainly, not feel motivated or confident about tackling another job interview.
Charlotte, is intrigued why her experiment didn’t work and so seeks to analyse her results by questioning the interviewer.
The interviewer gives her valuable feedback, which she’s confident she’ll be able to incorporate, into her experiment, for her next interview.
At the next interview Gary does exactly the same as he did in the first interview and fails to get the job again.
Charlotte doesn’t go for a second interview. The interviewer was so impressed with her willingness to learn, they changed their mind and offered her the job.
Ok I made that bit up (to suit my experiment) BUT if you shoot for a target and miss then don’t adjust your angle, the next time you shoot, you’ll miss again.
If we rewire our brains to think of “failures” or “setbacks” as opportunities to learn, then we keep moving forward.
By treating life as an experiment we objectify it, removing our emotional attachment to it therefore making it easier to change or influence.
Life will always present all of us with unexpected outcomes. It’s how we react to them determines how successful we become.
If we allow ourselves to become upset or personally offended, then we’re missing an opportunity to improve.
It’s less demanding, emotionally, to make, “adjustments”, rather than, “changes”.
In future, whenever I’m faced with challenging situation, I’m going to try my best not to say, “What if this goes wrong?” but to say, “Let’s see how this turn out”.
This is otherwise known as emotional intelligence.
After all, there is no right or wrong, just interesting results and a life experience to learn from.